Where Did It All Go Wrong?

 

You wanted to leave

I could not make you stay

You’d made up your mind

All the talking was done

 

So early one morning

I helped you pack up your car

Checked all the tires

And topped of the oil

 

You gave me a hug

And you kissed me goodbye

And I watched as your car

Rolled down the long gravel drive

 

In the blink of an eye

You were gone from my life

In the blink of an eye

You were gone

 

Now you are miles and a lifetime away

And the years have faded the memories

But sometimes I see an old picture of you

And I wonder, ‘cause its all I have left of you

 

Where did you go?

Where are you now?

Why did you run so fast?

You never even let me try?

How come you left all your pictures behind?

How come your dreams never included me?

Did you want to forget me?

Did you just want to leave it all behind?

 

Where did it all go wrong?

 

Am I the only one who believed

In the words that the preacher said?

Am I the only one who believed

That we ever had any chance at all?

 

Where did you go?

Where are you now?

Why did you run so fast?

Why couldn’t I even try?

How come you left all your pictures behind?

How come your dreams never included me?

Did you want to forget me?

Did you just want to leave it all behind?

 

Where did it all go wrong?

 

Derailed     Faster and faster Miles of track Fearful and blind To what’s in my path Pushing harder Trying to pass The hurdles in life I don’t want to see   Eyes closed Brute force A locomotive Disconnected from reality Brakes An option I’m To stubborn to choose Headstrong Headlong

Alas Derailed again The crash Lasts forever The ruin The tangle The collateral damage Spreads for miles Its end Unreachable Unobtainable Unimaginable   And yet again With eyes squeezed shut With unwilling hand I’ve failed the obvious My chance to pause And simply remove The tiny offending pebble From upon my track Without a fuss Without a wreck Without fear   To cope with it quietly And cast it aside

 

Isn’t It About Time?

Well, its time I start saying Goodbye my dear After all, it has been A long seven years Since last I saw Your sad parting gaze   A time or two I’ve heard your phantom voice And here and there I’ve dreamed of you A long remembered pull On a poisonous bottle A sourmash both sharp and warming An addiction of another kind   Love on a lance tip Pointed steadfastly at me Time after time I run up against your ghost Beaten and bloodied Drunken and drowning   In vain Insane In love I really don’t know anymore

Obsessed Reluctant Fearful Yes, certainly   The time has come To set you aside Like the shot glass I crawled from Four years ago If only I could Smash the vision and Fragment the memories As easily as those Long empty shattered bottles And surgery scars I woke to that one fateful day In August it was Three years after our last Well wishing glance Across the table in our Old favorite place In Tacoma

 

Where Would I be

 

I’ve lost many things

But I’m lost without you

My friend that’s stuck by me

And always been true

We’ve been through it all

So it seems, just us two

Where would I be

If it were not for you

 

We’ve learned a new life

Through each others eyes

We’ve listened and learned

And sat close when we cried

Through laughter and tears

Hot anger and fear

I wonder where I’d be

If I didn’t have you near

 

Things seem to have changed

Or are they the same

I don’t think it matters

I have no need to complain

Because as always I know

We’ll have each other to hold

So I don’t have to wonder

And I’m glad that you’re here

 

Thank you my friend!

 

 

Hurricane Frances (Silly stuff)

Hurricane Frances far out in the sea

Hang a right, go north, and stay far away if you please

You’ll knock out the power and break all the trees

And if there’s no water we can’t flush when we pee

Don’t you know Floridians cannot live without AC

Don’t stick my neighbor’s head through my windshield

My car’s brand new I don’t want all the paint peeled

I’m made all the ice that my freezer can hold

And bought all the supplied that I have been told

Stocked up on drugs so I’ll live through it all

Thank God I live on the first floor so there’s not far too fall

So bring on the wind and bring on the rain

and bring on the thunder but leave out the pain

Send in the storm swell and show me your eye

But dammit, be gentle – I don’t wanna die

 

Plus I don’t have any frikkin’ insurance, Godammit!!!

 

So there you have my 60 second poem to the bloody incoming storm!

 

Tornado Sleeps

 

The day is thick

With the weight if it

Uncertainty and danger

Carried by the very air

 

Heat on sweaty skin

Crack of thunder in the wind

Humidity and darkness

Seems they’re closing in

 

Misbegotten child of wind

Building on the plain

Growing anger, dust and wail

Waiting to exhale

 

It builds its fury steadily

And fuels itself with fear

Seems it knows its retribution

And its time is near

 

Still this tornado sleeps

Its hatred and its anger grow

Building hellish turbulence

Funneling its energy

 

Does this tornado sleep?

Stepsister of a summer’s breeze

Write your destruction upon the earth

Scribe your vengeance in the dust

 

Awake!

 

Empty Eyes

 

No way out

I’m deep in this hole

I’ll never get out

I’ve lost all control

 

It’s taking me now

Crossed over the line

Sold you my soul

For just a bit more

 

I’ve got empty eyes – but they see deep inside

I’ve got empty eyes – but they can see for miles

I’ve got empty eyes – that can poison your soul

I’ve got empty eyes – pure desperation and hate

 

I just want another

I just want some more

I just need a little

To get myself by

 

I’ll steal if I have to

I’ll take all that you’ve got

I’ll lie to my mother

I’ll sell the whole lot

 

I’ve got empty eyes – brimming with sheer desperation

I’ve got empty eyes – they need to feed the need

I’ve got empty eyes – that will steal you blind

I’ve got empty eyes – that’ll stick a knife in your spine

 

I can’t stop this shaking

Getting really bad now

Got to keep it together

Till I get some more

 

Vomit and spittle

There ain’t no acquittal

Poisoned my mind

Contorting my body

 

 

One Day

One Day
Snapshot – camera flash

One day
That’s all we get
Can’t change the past
Can’t wish a brighter future
 
One day
What will I do with this gift?
 
One day 
What will I do to better myself and the world around me?

One day 
What will I do to get out of my otherwise completely self-centered nature and contribute my love and hope, my idealized image for a better tomorrow? 

One day 
Hi, Welcome to McDonald’s.  May I take your order?

 

 

Stoic

 

Cloaked in silence Shrouded fear Chemicals to hide behind Emotional dependency   Misdirected inquisitions Keep your eyes from me Laughing at my madness Revealing superficiality   Smoke screened on the inside I just don’t want to know Darkness hides the truth That fear won’t let me show   Twilight filtered feelings Seeped in insecurity Surfacing so quietly Sneaking past my guard   Chorus Silence – it will ruin me Fear – will only grow in me Subconscious sickness in my mind I’ll crash and burn so stoically

Reveal the truth Don’t hide the lies Show all I’ve got Down deep inside   No need for tears Or running scared Reticence, no place to hide Reserve so slowly cast aside   Chorus Silence – it will ruin me Fear – will only grow in me Subconscious sickness in my mind I’ll crash and burn so stoically

 

 

The Road

 

The road is long and varied The road is hard and true Signs tell a lot of stories Whisper mysteries it seems   There are people at the crossroads Each on a different path And as we pass each other We exchange brief memories   You joined me for a little while I though we shared a destiny You told me of the things you’ve seen What you hoped for from the miles   I shared highlights of my dusty path And hoped you’d come along But you slipped away from me one day Had no choice but carry on   The road has many view points I’ll take a piece of each along Each mile a little lesson To ponder on the turns   Intersections, interchanges At which a choice was made Changed my way for evermore And cannot be undone   I see things and peoples faces Reminding me of you And even pause to wonder What’s your scenic over view   Do you ever look behind As I’m prone to do We might have gone another way We each had a choice that day

The road, it is a blessing And sometimes it’s a curse How I choose to see the road Is a shimmering perspective   All the things it has revealed The challenges I’ve faced Have shown me but one thing that’s real Each road’s a destiny   May stars light up your path at night May sun light warm your days May your eager footsteps Bring you quickly to your dreams   This road is mine to travel My regrets are mine to bear Signs point to brighter futures Fleeting, wispy possibilities