December 3, 2004
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Twenty Years
Spirited stallion
Galloping hard on field
A mighty weapon
For my hand to wield
Amplified vision
Of sorcerous yield
Thundering voice
On a staged battlefield
Curved body black
With a velvety feel
Always on the attack
No room for appeal
Mine from the start
Always ready to squeal
With feedback and fire
Electrified steel
After twenty long years
You still have much to reveal
And for twenty years longer
On your altar I’ll kneel
An Ode to My Guitar. Thanks to Jimi Hendrix for setting it free.
Comments (5)
I really, really like this. I think I would take out a few extraneous words to make the rhythm and pace even stronger. For example….3rd stanza, remove “There’s”, 4th stanza remove “and”. But, it totally kicks ass and works for me just fine as it is. I love odes.
and what a sensual ode it is…
I think something is amis with me and guitar players…exempting you
of course….
everyone I have loved has this affinity for music…that moves…
my daughter plays a little…need to buy her sum lessons…
i think as an artist…
what you are searching for in your poetry is already
within you….Just have to figure out how to express
such…
Dorothea
Hey, just wanted to give you props for the awesome wordage. Also, the whole job search thing is a bit easier when you are close to a certain capitol city and are involved in defense contracting. Good luck on the search.
Dear Andreas,
Just because you are in my poetry group doesn’t mean I stop reading your blog, and I hope you still stop by mine on a semi regular basis, my friend. I don’t think I’ve done a “response” to this piece on ElectricPoetry so I’ll give it a whirl here on your scratchin post blog. Only one quibble. “Altar” is spelled this way. I like the simple flowing rhyme, and the subject. My best friend Jim Zabel is a rather accomplished musician, and he owns something like fifteen guitars. (Not to mention a full blown 16track recording studio with an 88 key electric piano hooked up to his Imac in his house. I have always respected and am a bit jealous of musicians. I used to sing long ago, but never picked up an instrument.
Yours Truly,
Michael F. Nyiri, poet,philosopher,fool
hi.
Great to see you back. How was your Thanksgiving?
Nice song. It reads as a song and I think it would probably sound incredible.
You commented on my poem. It amazes me to read the reactions to certain poems. You said, at first, you picked up a sort of (I can’t remember your exact words) a “love” vibe or something of that nature than somewhere the poem turned.
Actually, the first instinct was accurate. It was more of an ode than a “rape/molestation/victim-crying” piece.
Although, it is so intriguing to me that you read those types of emotions in that poem.
It just proves the point, that all poetry and music and literature can begin with a certain voice, but end with a thousand shouts.
Your comments are wonderful.
Thanks.
~lisa