March 18, 2005
-
At the Unfashionable End Of the Ooze
At the dawn of life
When the first creatures
Crawled from the proverbial
Primordial ooze
Evolution was busy
Watching its wondrous
Beautiful new creation
Take trial and error
Stabs at survival
These hand-crafted
Chosen firsts
Had everything
All the best
Evolution could offer
Its hopes and dreams
Carefully assembled
From the best ingredients
They practically glistened
Packed full to the top
With the need and tools
To survive and adapt
Change and grow
Build and achieve
To become their creator’s
Penultimate vision
Meanwhile…
At the unfashionable
End of the ooze
In the cesspools
And waste dumps
Where the leftovers
The garbage
And the undesirable
Muck of creation
Is dumped
Out of sight
Out of mind
The sickly medium
Of undesirability
Is formed
Its lurking potential
Unknown
And unannounced
In this filth
Life of another kind
Gurgles away
Slowly and hidden
Stealthy
Evolution
Happily brewing
His chosen ones
Drunk on success
Is contentedly unaware
Here life is lumpy
Disfigured
Misaligned
And inappropriate
It twitched and jiggled
Limped and loped
It cavorted
Undesirably
Without design or reason
Without purpose
Without a righteous hand
To give it shape
And guidance
And love
Yet it grew
None the less
And while Evolution watched
His beautiful beings
Emerge and blossom
And take their first
Tentative steps
On this pristine
New world
A dozen or so
Misshapen figures
From the muck
Climbed aboard
Life’s short bus
And made their
Daring, dashing escape
To leave their mark
Their stain
And their own
Special blend
Within the mixture
Of life to come
On this planet
Unforeseen
Unwanted
Unplanned
Unscheduled
And relentless
Comments (15)
“In this filth
Life of another kind
Gurgles away
Slowly and hidden
Stealthy”
I made it to here and my tears came…
I shall return to read your words
Hey – this is cool as hell. I’m getting so many things from it. One minute I’m thinking of platypii (what’s the plural of platypus?), another minute I’m thinking of manatees and cockroaches, then, I’m thinking of the Clan of the Cavebear, then, my favorite topic….good and evil. Wow. Where did this come from? Great title, too!
you poem my love is outrageous
it has a lot of character
but my father had just passed away
while I was reading your words and
it just hit me the wrong way
thank you for your concern
luv
I liked this one because it is scientific and moralistic at the same time. Evolution is about survival of the strongest, not necessarily the survival of the most life affirming or pleasing. Like the global balance of power, better offenses promote better defenses. The extremes keep getting moreso. Nice work.
thank you for coming by- I was hoping someone who spoke German would- It is something I try to do- take a poem or two and translate it into another language. But German is Really hard and it comes out all in a jumble. Some lines are word for word, and some are just gobleygook. I would love to hear what it came out as to you if anything. You’ve got great stuff here on your site. I think I’ll subscribe.
Cheers!
Carmen
thanks for your input – I took your advice…whatcha think? Cool, Carmen likes your stuff. She’s one of my favoritest, cool xanga kids.
Explication of the poem “At the Unfashionable End Of the Ooze”
This is a creationist poem with evolutionary overtones. I like very well the deification and personification of “Evolution”, who “watches” from the beginning, very like a less secular “host” written about in other books detailing the “dawn of life”.The poem at once is a bit subversive, as creatures “crawl” from the “ooze” under the watchful eye of their creator, who gives them “choices” so they can “take trial and error”.
In the second stanza, the first life forms are called “chosen”. The reader is not told after the end of the second stanza exactly which “species” of Evolution’s “life” is being described. But they had “all the best” their god could offer. “Evolution” as personified is almost human, with “hopes and dreams” for his creations, “Carefully assembled : From the best ingredients.” We are told that they “glistened”, and they are quite prepared for any calamity that could befall them. They are to “become their creator’s : Penultimate vision.”
The first scene plays itself out in the first two stanzas, then, as if in a serial film, “Meanwhile…” and the titular line comes into play, alerting the reader that there is something else out there in the ooze. This stanza describes not a chapter from life’s bible nor a biology lesson. “Undesirability”, a castaway emotion, is breeding in the “muck of creation”, living amongst “Evolution’s” wonderful beings but in the “cesspools” and “waste dumps”. “Undesirability” is an imponderable, which is always a bad thing.
The last stanza proclaims that yet “life of another kind” is “gurgling”.
As a poem, “Unfashionable End of the Ooze” is delightfully structured, with short lines, and an almost omniscient or “biblical” quality. It is easy to read, and the ideas are all the more powerful because of this. As a political or spiritual “tract”, the piece shows that all life is eventually superseded by another life, which is the principal of evolution in the first place, but in the poem all these “lives” live concurrently, just as the disparate peoples of the world live alongside each other in history.
The poem never mentions any species, which adds to it’s “universal” flavor, as if it could be talking about now, the past, or the future. No ooze is good ooze.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
“And while Evolution watched
his beautiful beings
emerge and blossom…………”
This entire stanza is fantastic.
~lisa
wow. your style has become so much looser and more surprising as you go… it’s crazy to see! i love this piece, the imagery, the rhythm, but mostly the actual point — evolution is always an interesting and metaphorical concept. you toy with it well! i especially love the section that begins “here life is lumpy…” it’s just perfect. hehehe
yes, things are good, i can’t wait to be home again for a little while… it sounds like you guys aren’t too bad either, i hope all is well. i think i may try to take a trip down this summer, considering i have no other plans : D but we’ll see how things work out. and as for that paper, i’ll figure out a way to post it so you guys can read it, i think you’ll find it amusing and highly debatable. talk to you soon!
I like “Here life is lumpy” somtimes I think the most honest ideas come off simply… and even the most abstract notions, life and the perpetual evolution of the soul, can be condensed into small phrases… the wonder of poetry.
Generally like the imagery, too… it crops up in my own stuff on occassion.
“Hmmmmm. Usually I have a million bits of stupidity rolling around in my otherwise wasted brain and now I can’t think of a single ridiculous thing to say to cheer you up. I shall have to whip myself with a cane, put my finger in a light socket, drink pickle juice, make a mayonnaise slip-and-slide in my living room, shave my kneecaps, clamp a vice to my forehead, pierce my nose with a knitting needle, try that off-road tattooing thing and perfect my diverging eye trick in penance and in hopes of stimulating a crazy enough though to put a smile on your face. But first, I need to create a small hole in my head to let the evil demons out. Now where did I put my drill?”
SMILE!!!! It worked, it worked, it worked! I need you to move to Arizona and buy the house next door to me. That way, I can just come over and watch you do all sorts of outrageous things.
~lisa
wow lol we almost have the same name
And what or who would these muck-creatures be? O_o Keep it copasetic. Peace.
Would love to hear what kind of music you play this over…i would do somethang like Miles Davis’ “Bitches Brew” or something along the lines of Coltrane
Eww, ralph macchio. (wait, did I spell that correctly?) Well, at least you were kind enough to warn me.
Have a good Easter!
lisa