March 28, 2005
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One Distant Light
Darkness settles in
Like the clang
Of the gallows’ bell
Judgmental
Discordant
And irrefutable
A time when
All alone
Self-incrimination
And reproach
Wander freely
Through my mind
When failures
Seem insurmountable
And flaws
Become ravenous
Caged animals
I sit beside
And the little
Inner voice
You reinforce
By telling me
I have
I will
And I do
Is so timid
Cowering between these
Self-created and
Shrieking accusations
As to go almost
Unnoticed and
Most certainly
Ignored
When sleep
Remains at bay
And whiskey
Provides no
Adequate escape
When it seems
Only suicide
Can stem the tide
There is yet one thing
One distant light
I wish I may
I wish I might…
Comments (12)
This is just amazing. Really. I’m blown away.
Somewhere deep inside me…your words connected
It is like …I have to say this..I wish I knew your state of cosciousness
when you were writing this piece…it says so much more
maureenrose took my words!
this is so good. So good. It reminds me of the type of writing I’m reading lately. The dark expressions of Goethe and Hesse.
lisa
wow! I don’t know what to say. this hit me like a dark disney movie intro spoken by an adult Pinnochio. very powerful punch!
My man, my favorite man, have you ever considered a career in psychoanalysis?
I’m dead serious. You’re quite adept at picking up on nuances, vibrations, whispers, etc. etcetera. etc.
~lisa
the last line is my absolute favorite. i’m a big fan of the ellipses (is that the plural of ellipsis? what an english major i am!) but i agree with all these other people who like you enough to come and read you : D this one’s definitely amazing!
as for me, i’m alright. and by that i mean I AM ALLLLRIGHT! it’s hard, but not as hard as it was yesterday, and that wasn’t as hard as the day before, etc. etc. so i think i’m good. and i’ve set myself up for a few good times over the next week or so, with parties and meetings and stuff, and i’ve been working on the guitar a little more since i’ve slacked off a ton.
so this isn’t so bad after all, i suppose…. : ) thank you for your wonderful wisdom and support. you have no idea how much it means.
miss you lots, hopefully i can get to see you sometime soon soon soon. thanks again!
Okay, you know by now, how much I feel like people and things and happenings in my life are all related. I connect every single thing. Well, you brought up The Little Prince and I nearly fell off my chair. I actually have that book. A friend from work, the guy who months and months ago lent me his copy of Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse, therefore turning me into a Hesse fanatic (just bought Demian today) also lent me The Little Prince. When I returned his copy of Steppenwolf to him about a month ago he asked if I’d read The Little Prince yet. I said that my daughter and I were reading it together, a chapter per night. Granted, I could read it much faster on my own but my daughter wanted us to experience it together so I agreed. Well, we read Chapter One. Then life took over. I always have my mind in several books at once. Then she had too much homework for us to read The Little Prince, now I’ve misplaced the book. Just yesterday my daughter brought it up again and I said, oh help me look for it because it isn’t even my book. By misplaced, I mean amongst the nine bookshelves that line an entire wall in my bedroom.
It’s in there somewhere, I just know it!
So, now you, my favorite xanga friend, poet, critic, applauser, crazy man with demons roaming free throwing wild cuckoo parties in his head, YOU have brought up the very same book that I’ve been thinking about. I am making it my goal to find that book today and read it. cover to cover. flap to flap. word for word. I hear its spectacular.
~lisa
WOW! Cool site!
That would be very cool to make maple syrup…I’m gonna try it…
Oh no! You know what that means by Kirsten’s: I’m gonna try it. ?????? do you? That means: MOM! Can you help me make maple syrup like that nice, brain damaged man told me?!
Let’s see, I first discovered Hesse when someone lent me a book. I’ve read Rimbaud. Picked up The Sorrows of Young Werther at a used book store and that is how I got into Goethe. It’s not some deep story, it just sort of happened. Although, somehow its connected! Somehow!
Picture me standing tall with my arm out and my finger stabbing into the air. Hair flopping around on my head like Einstein.
I will definitely have to dig up some Schiller. “Plagued by sickness and weakness” sounds like my favorite kind of author.
I wonder if you’ll ever write me a comment longer than one of my own entries? About Germany and insanity and the madmen who hail from there. Yes, I actually have some Mozart on my iPod.
Have you ever heard the story about mercury pools? That mercury gathers in certain places throughout history and that whenever it does, a slew of geniuses come out of that time? It has been said it happened during Christ’s time, during the Persian explosion during the 13th and 14th centuries and then again during the 17th and 18th centuries. I know I’m missing some crucial dates but I can’t remember where I read about it so can not refer to the article.
~lisa
But did ya check out the Dylan bootleg
This piece was absolutely incredible. You voiced the terrors that the darkness and the moments we face our demons. Great work.
Hey, I read your blog & I think you want to hear my tunes. Turn up your stereo & check my website here! http://www.musicbycali.com.
Thanks!